Your Heart is the Pillar of Your Worship

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

By ‘Abdullah ‘Azzam (may Allah have Mercy upon him)

“…the heart is the machine that drives all acts of worship. It is what moves the entire body! As long as the heart is alive, then the limbs will be alive, and the soul will open itself up to worship. However, if the heart becomes diseased, then worship will become too heavy on the soul, leading to it eventually disliking and hating – and we seek refuge with Allah from this – worship. Because of this, Allah – the Glorified and Exalted – said, regarding the prayer: 

{“…and truly, it is extremely heavy and hard except on those who are submissive…”} [al-Baqarah; 45]

The prayer is heavy, because one’s legs and hands are not what get up for the prayer. What gets up for the prayer are the heart and the soul.

{“Verily, the hypocrites seek to deceive Allah, but it is He Who deceives them. And when they stand up for the prayer, they stand with laziness and to be seen of men, and they do not remember Allah but little.”} [an-Nisa’; 142]

Because of this, it is the heart that stands up for worship. The limbs are simply slaves of this heart, carrying out what it commands them. If the heart is alive, then the soul will be alive, and worship will become beloved and sweetened to the hearts and the souls, and they will open up for it.

However, if the heart becomes diseased, then worship becomes too heavy on it. The heart is like the digestive system: right now, the most beloved thing to you is meat. However, if you develop an ulcer somewhere in your digestive system, then the meat – along with its fat and oil – becomes the most hated thing to it, since it is diseased. Sweets are also something that are beloved to the soul. For example, if you were fasting right now and were to break your fast on some desserts, then your soul would become satisfied with that, right? However, if one were to be stricken with diabetes, then he would not be able to handle these sugary foods, even if they were beloved to him. 

The heart is like this: it must be strong so that it can handle worship that is strong. The stronger your heart becomes, then throw as much worship upon it as you wish. You would get up to pray at night, and you would cherish this prayer and consider sleep to be your enemy:

{“Their sides forsake their beds, to invoke their Lord in fear and hope…”} [as-Sajdah; 16]

He begins to forsake it because an enmity develops between him and his bed. He prays behind the imam, and he says to himself: “If only he would make the prayer longer,” so that he would increase in his opening up to this worship, and his tasting of its sweetness.

At times, I would pray a normal prayer with the people behind me, so I would elongate the prayer. The youth would then come to me and say (the hadith): “Whoever leads the people in prayer should go easy on them,” – the youth! And there was an old man behind me who was between 90 and 100 years of age – his face filled with light – and he would say to me: “Keep making the prayer long and do not answer them.” A man of 90 years getting pleasure out of a long prayer, and a youth of 20, who probably practices karate and judo, cannot handle the same prayer. 

Why?
If he went to the soccer field and spent two hours playing there without becoming bored, then why would he become bored from hearing the Qur’an for five minutes? The difference between a short prayer and a long prayer is simply five minutes, so why does he become bored from these five minutes of Qur’an, yet he does not become bored from two hours of soccer? Why does he not get bored from standing for two hours staring at an inflated piece of leather, his heart attached to it?

Because, what stands up to pray is the heart, and what stands up for sports are simply the body and muscles.”

[From a lecture given by ‘Abdullah ‘Azzam on June 15, 1988 entitled ‘The True Preparation,’ found in the collection ‘at-Tarbiyyah al-Jihadiyyah wal-Bina”; 1/220]

Courtesy of: kalamullah.com

The Types of Heart

 

 

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Just as the heart may be described in terms of being alive or dead, it may also be regarded as belonging to one of three types; these are the healthy heart, the dead heart, and the sick heart.

The Healthy Heart

On the Day of Resurrection, only those who come to Allah with a healthy heart will be saved. Allah says:

“The day on which neither wealth nor sons will be of any use, except for whoever brings to Allah a sound heart. (26:88-89)”

In defining the healthy heart, the following has been said: “It is a heart cleansed from any passion that challenges what Allah commands, or disputes what He forbids. It is free from any impulses which contradict His good. As a result, it is safeguarded against the worship of anything other than Him, and seeks the judgment of no other except that of His Messenger Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wassallam) . Its services are exclusively reserved for Allah, willingly and lovingly, with total reliance, relating all matters to Him, in fear, hope and sincere dedication. When it loves, its love is in the way of Allah. If it detests, it detests in the light of what He detests. When it gives, it gives for Allah. If it withholds, it withholds for Allah. Nevertheless, all this will not suffice for its salvation until it is free from following, or taking as its guide, anyone other than His Messenger Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wassallam) .” A servant with a healthy heart must dedicate it to its journey’s end and not base his actions and speech on those of any other person except Allah’s Messenger Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wassallam) . He must not give precedence to any other faith or words or deeds over those of Allah and His Messenger, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. Allah says:

“Oh you who believe, do not put yourselves above Allah and His Messenger, but fear Allah, for Allah is Hearing, Knowing. (49:1)”

The Dead Heart

This is the opposite of the healthy heart. It does not know its Lord and does not worship Him as He commands, in the way which He likes, and with which He is pleased. It clings instead to its lusts and desires, even if these are likely to incur Allah’s displeasure and wrath. It worships things other than Allah, and its loves and its hatreds, and its giving and its withholding, arise from its whims, which are of paramount importance to it and preferred above the pleasure of Allah. Its whims are its imam. Its lust is its guide. Its ignorance is its leader. Its crude impulses are its impetus. It is immersed in its concern with worldly objectives. It is drunk with its own fancies and its love for hasty, fleeting pleasures. It is called to Allah and the akhira from a distance but it does not respond to advice, and instead it follows any scheming, cunning shayton. Life angers and pleases it, and passion makes it deaf and blind (1) to anything except what is evil.

To associate and keep company with the owner of such a heart is to tempt illness: living with him is like taking poison, and befriending him means utter destruction.

The Sick Heart

This is a heart with life in it, as well as illness. The former sustains it at one moment, the latter at another, and it follows whichever one of the two manages to dominate it. It has love for Allah, faith in Him, sincerity towards Him, and reliance upon Him, and these are what give it life. It also has a craving for lust and pleasure, and prefers them and strives to experience them. It is full of self-admiration, which can lead to its own destruction. It listens to two callers: one calling it to Allah and His Prophet Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wassallam) and the akhira; and the other calling it to the fleeting pleasures of this world. It responds to whichever one of the two happens to have most influence over it at the time.

The first heart is alive, submitted to Allah, humble, sensitive and aware; the second is brittle and dead; the third wavers between either its safety or its ruin.

---

Footnotes:

1. It has been related on the authority of Abu’d-Darda’ that the Messenger of Allah said, “Your love for something that makes you blind and deaf.” Abu Daw’ud, al-Adab, 14/38; Ahmad, al-Musnad, 5/194. The hadith is classified as hasan.

Courtesy of: kalamullah.com

Serving Our Faith in Our Daily Lives

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

By Shaykh Salman al-`Awdah

How can I serve my faith in the course of my daily life? What contribution can I make as I go about my normal business? This is a question that many of us ask ourselves and it is a very good question. The Prophet (peace be upon him said): “Every person goes forth in the morning trading in his own self. He either earns its freedom or consigns it to perdition.”

Therefore, we ask ourselves: Should I focus on enjoining people to what is right? Should I forbid them from what is wrong? Is it best for me to gather together the children and help them to commit the Qur’ân to memory? Should I rather get involved in some charity work?

The ways that we as Muslims can serve our faith are too numerous to count. If each one of us only tries to count that ways that he or she can personally serve Islam, the possibilities will still be endless.

Each of us must take into account his individual abilities as well as his inclinations and his personality in deciding what he should do. Nevertheless, there are some general guidelines that apply to everyone and some contributions that we can all start making immediately.

To begin with, we can try to set a good example for others. We can do this in our worship, in our dealings with others, and in our moral conduct. We can strive to always be considerate and just. We can give priority to the rights of others even if it means doing so at the expense of our own. This is the starting point of all of our service and indeed it is the most critical.

The next level of activity concerns our dealings with our family and with those who are close to us. We must nurture our good relationships with our relatives by honoring them doing good for them. It is our duty to call our family to Islam and to encourage them to do what is right. This duty starts with our parents and children, then with our siblings and spouses, and extends outwards.

Allah says, addressing the Prophet (peace be upon him): “And admonish your nearest kinsmen.” [Sûrah al-Shu`arâ’: 214]

After this verse was revealed, the Prophet (peace be upon him) gathered his kinfolk together and said: “O assembly of Quraysh! Purchase your own souls, for I can avail you naught with Allah. O Banû `Abd Manâf! I can avail you naught with Allah! O Safiyyah, aunt of Allah’s Messenger! I can avail you naught with Allah! O Fâtimah, daughter of Muhammad! I can avail you naught with Allah. Ask me of my wealth what you wish, but I can avail you naught with Allah!”

We must then turn our attentions to our colleagues and our classmates. We should always be willing to lend them our assistance. By letting them know that they can count on us, we win their friendship and their trust. In turn, we can reach out to them and even get them involved with us in our good works. They will be more responsive to us when we offer them literature or a cassette or ask them to go with us to a lecture.

We must also attend to our neighbors and the communities in which we live. Our neighbors have rights over us simply by virtue of their being our neighbors. We must honor those rights. We should cultivate goodwill between ourselves and those who live in our neighborhood. This makes it easier for us to reach out to them in matters of faith.

Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should honor his neighbor.”

He also said: “By Allah, he does not believe. By Allah, he does not believe.” When someone asked him whom he was talking about, he replied: “He whose neighbor is not safe from his abuse.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) took great pains in defining the neighbor’s rights. He said: “If he falls ill, visit him. If he has good fortune, congratulate him. If ill fortune befalls him, console him. Do not build your building in a way that would keep the breeze from reaching his dwelling except with his permission. Do not annoy him with the aroma of your cooking pot unless you serve him some of your food. If you buy some fruit, them give him a gift from it, and if you do not do so, then bring it into your home discreetly, and do not let your child take it outside to taunt his child with it.”

Concern for our neighborhood also means involvement in our local mosque. We should, of course, be regular in our prayers. We should also spend some time in the mosques. We should make sure to attend mosque activities, if only occasionally.

It is then important for us to broaden our perspectives and look at the broader issues facing the Muslim world. Each one of us can at get actively involved in at least one of these concerns. This might mean working to draw media attention to some matter of importance to the Muslims or to garner sympathy for the suffering of Muslims in some part of the world. It can mean encouraging those who have been blessed with wealth and prosperity to spend on those in need. It can mean helping to get some useful Islamic literature published and disseminated.

May Allah bless us to serve him in all aspects of our lives.

From IslamToday.com   Figure: org

Cure of Lovesickness

 

 

 

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

By Shaykh Salman al-`Awdah

By no means is love a sickness in and of itself. Indeed, it is the only known cure for many of the problems and ailments that we as human beings suffer from. However, love can turn into an illness if it becomes obsessive, if it goes beyond its proper bounds, or if the object of love is not worthy. When such a situation develops, love indeed becomes a sickness requiring a remedy.

It is Allah’s order in the world that he sends down to it no affliction without sending down with it its cure. Love is no exception.

The treatment of this illness is as follows:

1. As with all diseases, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

This is why we must lower our gazes and resist taking a second glance at a member of the opposite sex who attracts us. Allah says: “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That will make for greater purity for them, and Allah is acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity…” [Sûrah al-Nûr: 30-31]

We can see how Allah first issues the command to believing men, then repeats the command for believing women, thus emphasizing the importance of lowering our gazes. The fact that Allah addresses members of each sex individually shows just how important and relevant this matter is to people of both sexes. Indeed, these verses are one of the few occasions where Allah addresses men and women separately in the Qur’ân.

The look is the beginning that can lead to progressively greater ills. This is why Allah mentions it first, and then follows it up with the command for us to guard our chastity.

A poet long ago observed:

A glance, a smile, a friendly hello,

 Some chatting, a date, then off they go!

If some of us find it difficult to carry out this command, they should write these verses down on a sheet of paper and hang them on their wall or place them on the dashboard – whatever it takes to remind them.

2. Thinking about the consequences is often a sobering dose of medicine.

The ability to think about the far-reaching consequences of our actions is one of the distinctive qualities that set humanity apart from other animals. This is why a person just does not go ahead and do everything that tickles his fancy. He first has to think about what is behind it and what will come of it.

For instance, he might pause to think, before embarking upon a certain course of action, that if he does so, he might succumb to AIDS. He might reflect upon how that dreaded disease has already claimed tens of millions of lives, how some of those who were careful – who chose only one sexual partner who even had an AIDS test – nevertheless came down with the disease.

How many people like that do we hear about, some of whom come out and admit that the disease befell them as a punishment from Allah, and hoping that it might at least expiate for their sin?

The same can be said for all the other sexually transmitted diseases. The worst thing of all is to think that an indiscreet man can infect his pious, faithful, and chaste wife with one of these vile diseases.

Another consequence to think about is pregnancy. A man who had repented for his sins once admitted to me that he had intentionally chosen to involve himself with a woman who was sterile. Regardless, Allah wanted her to fall pregnant and she did.

We should not be heedless of the consequences of our actions. Does anyone want to be responsible for someone coming into this world with no idea who his father is; someone who starts out life already disadvantaged?

Maybe one of us will pay the price for his misdeed in this world. Maybe he will get away with it here, going through life unrepentant and unscathed, only to be humiliated for it before the eyes of all on the Day of Judgment.

Some of the evil consequences of this behavior are psychological in nature. A man, once enamored of women, gets to the point that he can never be satisfied. He eternally craves variety and no degree of beauty is enough. Because of this, he may find himself eternally forbidden the lawful pleasure to be found within marriage. His senses and his sentiments have all been dulled.

Some young men travel abroad and spend their time in the company of prostitutes and other women of ill repute, but if one of them were ever to hear that his wife back home so much as looked at another man indiscreetly, he would divorce her on the spot.

One man lamented: “I would forsake all the women of the world for the sake of one woman whom I knew would get worried if I came home at night a little bit late.” This is the sentiment of any man who possesses wisdom.

3. The communion of lawful love is the best cure of all.

All of the stories of love that we find in our literature – whether it be that of Jamîl and Buthaynah, Kuthayyir and `Azzah, Qays and Laylâ, or for that matter their English equivalent Romeo and Juliet – deal with the anguish of unrequited love.

Allah has placed in what is lawful all that we need so we can dispense with what He has made unlawful. It provides the most fulfilling, satisfying, and deepest expression of love.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “We see for those who are in love nothing better than marriage.” [Sunan Ibn Mâjah (1847) and Mustadrak Hâkim (2724) with a good chain of transmission]

Lawful matrimony is what brings healing to the heart and removes its disquiet. If it is not written for a certain man and women to come together in matrimony, each of them should have faith that there are many others out there with whom Allah can enrich them with a meaningful and loving relationship.

4. Resignation and a willingness to forsake what is wrong.

No matter how painful it may be to part, it is sometimes necessary. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever maintains his chastity, does so with the grace of Allah. Whoever finds self-sufficiency does so with what Allah has enriched him. Whoever is patient draws his fortitude from Allah. And no one has been given a gift better or more bountiful than patience.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (1469) and Sahîh Muslim (1053)]

Whoever gives something up for Allah’s sake should know that Allah will give him in its stead something far better.

5. Channeling one’s energies and abilities into what is nobler, more precious, and sublime – the love of Allah

We express this love by bringing benefit to His creatures, by our obedience to Him, by our prayers, our fasts, our remembrance of Him, our supplications, and our humility. We do so by keeping the company of righteous people and by aspiring to the noblest and most beneficial of goals.

We should channel our energies into what benefits us in our worldly lives and in our faith. Allah says: “Seek Allah’s help with patience and perseverance. It is indeed difficult except upon those who are humble.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 45]

He says: “Whoever puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is Allah for him.” [Sûrah al-Talâq: 3]

A heart that is full of concern for others will be a heart that is full of love – but not a slave to love. It is an empty heart that falls stricken for any visitor who graces its doorstep.

We should take full advantage of our lives and be as productive as possible. We need to develop our talents, our minds, and put our creativity into practice. Yes! Be enamored – but be enamored of truth and knowledge. Be fully in love – but be in love with righteousness. 

 

From IslamToday.com  Source: kalamullah.com  Figure: broken-heart.jpg

Positivism: The Right Mentality

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

By Brother Ibrahim Abu Khalid

When we possess knowledge, we know that the trials in life can be passed, since Allah does not place a greater burden on us than we can bear. With knowledge, we know that these trails, once passed, will bear fruits in the form of pleasing our Creator, rising in ranks towards Him, cleansing us of our sins, and strengthening our Iman further…

Allah’s Apostle (s.a.w) said: “Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shown resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it.” [Saheeh Muslim]

There is a disease that is consuming the enthusiasm of our youth, the determination of our elders, the spirit of our mothers. It’s a disease that has really taken its foothold this century, and grown rapidly. It’s the disease of pessimism.

The consequence of our pessimism is that we have committed ourselves to whinging more then acting. A great deal of our talks, articles, Khutbahs and lessons seem to be concerned with how bad the West is treating us. How they do not really understand who we are. How we are being discriminated upon. This feeling of alienation by the West is disturbing considering that as readers and followers of the Qur’an, this treatment comes as no surprise and is a characteristic of the true followers of Allah’s religion.

The Nature of Being a Muslim

Islam raised a despotic people from the clenches of injustice and spiritual destitution to that of the greatest power the world had ever seen. But this honour and victory came at a price, for everything which has worth in Allah’s Eyes has a price. The companions paid that price with their money and their blood. They faced persecution from their own family, and bore hunger bravely.

The following incidences provide a useful insight into the positive attitudes the Prophet (s.a.w) displayed and his companions adopted.

1- A close companion of the Prophet (s.a.w) Abu Talha, had a son who was very sick. Abu Talha would each day arrive home and enquire from his wife as to the health of their son. One day their son died, and Abu Talha at that time was not at home. When his wife saw that he was dead, she washed and shrouded him and placed him somewhere in the house. When Abu Talha came, he asked about his son’s condition, and his wife said that he was in peace.

Abu Talha slept with his wife that night. His wife informed him about the death of their son in the morning. When Abu Talha informed the Prophet of what happened to them, Allah’s Messenger said, “May Allah bless you both concerning your night (that is, may Allah bless you both with good offspring). And indeed, Allah blessed Abu Talha and his wife with nine sons, all of whom became reciters of the Qur’an [Saheeh Bukhary].

This story illuminates the patience the Companions had. The wife bore the death of her beloved son patiently, and furthermore kept the knowledge of his death hidden from the father for a more appropriate time. This virtuous act was blessed by Allah, with offspring who would serve as a blessing for their parents in the Hereafter.

2- A female companion had a husband whom she dearly loved. He died however and she was very depressed over his death. So she sought advice from the Prophet (s.a.w), who taught her to recite a Du’a beseeching Allah to replace her loss with something better than it. She obeyed the Prophet (s.a.w), and Allah answered her call, by providing her with a husband better than any women could have – the Prophet (s.a.w) himself.

3- Perhaps one of the greatest shows of optimism came after the Prophet (s.a.w) had been stoned in Ta’if. Bleeding profusely and emotionally hurt, he was visited by the Angel of the Mountains which encompassed the valley of Ta’if. He was offered the choice to have those people who denied his message to be crushed. He (s.a.w) however refused to assign these people to destruction, citing that their offspring may become believers. And indeed, this foresight eventuated.

The Guaranteed Victory

As believers, we are guaranteed victory no matter what our condition is, and that’s what makes us special. If we become ill, our sins fall away from us like leaves fall from a tree. If our child dies, he or she will wait for us in the Hereafter and intercede for us until we enter paradise. If we fight in a war, we will either win, or die as martyrs, which is a greater victory in itself.

So the question begs to be asked, why then are Muslims so pessimistic?

Clearly this stems from a lack of knowledge and trust in Allah. For when we possess knowledge, we know that the trials in life can be passed, since Allah does not place a greater burden on us than we can bear. With knowledge, we know that these trails, once passed, will bear fruits in the form of pleasing our Creator, rising in ranks towards Him, cleansing us of our sins, and strengthening our Iman further. The trust in Allah will make us certain that nothing is lost with Allah, no fear we experience, nor pain, sadness, anguish or distress.

Indeed, Allah Says “So verily along with every hardship, is relief”. This means there has to be hardship, in whatever form it takes, in the form of death, loss or poverty, divorce, difficult relatives, or persecution.

Time to Act

If this Ummah persists in complaining rather than acting, we’ll get nowhere. We already know that the Kufaar hate us, and have known this for centuries, and have known that they never will like us. If these people persecuted their own prophets, why wouldn’t they persecute us today? Allah has already warned us about their feelings towards us: “And verily the Jews and Christians will never be pleased with you until you follow their religion.”

And this emotion should be carried forth in all aspects of our lives, for if the companions had resigned themselves to the trials of life, they would never have succeeded.

Rather, we should feel delight for the faith we have embraced, continue our struggle to spread and establish Allah’s Word on this earth no matter the consequences, and whenever grief hits anyone of us, remember the Hadith: “Strange are the ways of a believer, for there is good in every affair of his, and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shown resignation (and endures it patiently), then there is a good for him in it.”

 

From missionislam.com,  Source: kalamullah.com,  Figure: Positive_Thinking.jpg

Style over Substance: How cool is that?

 

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

By Umm Rashid

If one does a Google search on “how to be smart”, it yields 254,000,000 results in 0.34 seconds, with thousands of tips on how to exercise smart choices in every aspect of life—from genomes to cars to clothes to kids to votes to money to FTP servers. 

If one runs the same search on “how to be sincere”, the top links the search engine comes up with, are software consultants and watches that go by the brand name Sincere, and a definition of the word in Merriam Webster’s online dictionary. 

It’s a clear sign of the times – the world values smart people more than sincere ones. Well-dressed, well-heeled, well-spoken individuals score more brownie points socially, are more popular and more likely to be successful in whatever they set out to do—regardless of what they may be like within. 

People in the public eye hire image consultants to make them ‘look good’, who monitor everything about the individual’s public persona – the way they speak, the clothes they wear, the food they endorse, the places they are seen at, the causes they espouse.

Not just public personalities, even ordinary people are within the purview of image experts. Jo Anna Nicholson, author of five self-help books, including Dressing Smart for Men and Dressing Smart for Women has made a fortune out of telling others how to dress and act so that they make an “instant impression” on prospective employers and spouses. Her books include chapters on “Looking As If You Don’t Have a Clue”, “How to Look Accidentally Good” and “Looking Promotable.” 

Popular magazines and websites abound with pseudo-psychoanalytical articles on what one’s clothes, hair, jewellery or accessories are saying about a person, and how people can carefully tailor their appearance to create maximum impact. 

 

Contrast this with the attitude of the early Muslims. When the Muslims opened Jerusalem, the Christians refused to give the city’s keys to anyone except the Caliph. So ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, set off from Madeenah to Jerusalem. His entourage? One attendant and a mule, which they took turns to ride. It happened to be the attendant’s turn to ride on the day they were to reach Jerusalem. The attendant volunteered to give up his turn because it would look “awkward in the eyes of the people” if he rode and the Chief of the Believers walked. ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, refused, saying: “yakfeenaa sharaful Islaam – the honour of Islaam is enough for us.”

On the way, while walking across a muddy area, ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, took off his footwear, put it under his arm and raised his clothes so they wouldn’t get muddy. When Abu Ubaydah, may Allaah be pleased with him, who was one of the commanders waiting for him saw this, he ran to ‘Umar asking him to ride his horse while entering the city. He said they were in a land where the quality of clothes reflected the rank of people. 

‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, replied: “I wish someone other than you had said that. Have you forgotten that we were a lowly people and it was Islaam that made us honourable? If we seek honour from anything other than Islaam, Allaah will return us to that state of lowliness.” 

For proof regarding the fulfillment of this prophecy, one only has to look around: Muslims are being humiliated, subjugated and oppressed by the very system and people whose ways they seek to emulate, in preference to the Sunnah of their Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, and the example of those whom Allaah was pleased with. 

 

It’s true, cultivating “coolness” has more immediate pay-offs than cultivating sincerity. Wearing the latest brands and hanging out at the most-happening places is the ticket to gaining entry into the ‘with-it’ crowd – the people with the wittiest repartees, trendiest hairstyles and clothes, fanciest cars and gizmos— who spend a considerable amount of time and energy trying to stay abreast of the latest trends. As opposed to this ‘magic circle’, seen from the outside, the company of sincere people seems unglamorous, even boring. 

But scratch deeper, and the truth surfaces. 

People who try to fit in with a superficial world that subscribes to ever-changing fads, soon discover that the hollowness of their world finds an echo deep within. A deep-seated dissatisfaction with oneself takes a person to stylists and therapists, but make-up and makeovers can’t change one’s personality. They merely reinforce the belief that a person is incapable of being appreciated for themselves, they must use other people’s advice instead of their own judgment to be successful, they must adopt someone else’s idea of beauty to be acceptable in the eyes of others. 

How cool is that? 

On the other hand, people who set out on the straight and narrow, choosing substance over style, seeking to please Allaah as opposed to pleasing people, may not find their popularity ratings soar—quite the opposite, in fact. Yet, they get strength in the certainty of their belief, that their reward is with Allaah in the Hereafter. 

 

What are the signs that a person is seeking to build an ‘image’ instead of developing true faith by their deeds?

 In his book, Riyaa: The Hidden Shirk, Abu Ammaar Yasir Qadhi writes: “Linguistically riyaa comes from the root “ra’aa” which means to see, to behold, to view. The derived word ‘riyaa’ means “eye-service, hypocrisy, dissimulation; dissemblance.” From a sharee`ah point of view, it means “to perform acts which are pleasing to Allaah, with the intention of pleasing other than Allaah.” 

The primary cause of riyaa is a weakness in faith (eemaan). When a person does not have strong faith in Allaah, he will prefer the admiration of people over the pleasure of Allaah.”

There are three symptoms that are indicative of riyaa, and it is essential that a believer avoid all of them.

* The love of praise : A hadeeth mentions the first three people being thrown into hellfire—the scholar (who taught for fame), the martyr (who fought for fame), and the person who gave his money in charity (so people would say he is generous). All three of these people desired the pleasure of people over the pleasure of Allah. The person who desires the praise of people must feel some pride in himself, for he feels himself worthy of being praised. There is a danger, therefore, of him becoming arrogant and boastful. 

* Fear of criticism: No one likes to be criticised.

The dislike of criticism regarding religious practices may be divided into two categories:
The first category is that of a person who neglects a commandment of Allaah in order to avoid the criticism of his peers. However, the true believers are described in the Qur’aan as follows: “…They do not fear the criticism of those who criticise. And this is the blessing of Allah; He gives it to whomsoever He wishes. Verily, Allaah is Self-Sufficient, all Knowing. “ [Al-Maa`idah : 54]

The second category is that of a person who obeys certain commandments of Islaam, not for the sake of Allaah, but because he fears people will look down upon him and criticise him if he does not do it. For example, a man may make his formal prayers in the mosque because he does not want people to criticise him for praying at home, or to think that he is not praying at all.

* Greed for people’s possessions

If a person covets what other people possess—whether it is rank, money or power, then he will wish them to envy him similarly. For example, if he is jealous of a certain person’s position in society, he will try by every possible means to attain the same position. Such desires lead people to spend their lives putting on a show for other people so that they will admire their rank, money, or power.” 

How does one go about seeking sincerity? 

Imaam Ibn-al Qayyim al Jawziyyah, may Allaah have mercy on him, says: “If your soul informs you to quest for Ikhlaas, turn first towards your yearning and slaughter it with a knife [in a state] of desperation. Then turn [in a state of] asceticism upon praise and commendation… If your quest in slaughtering the yearning, and [the acquisition of] asceticism [against] praise and commendation is successful, your [journey] shall be facilitated in your [quest] for Ikhlaas.” 

Tameem ad-Daaree, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said thrice (to lay stress): The Deen is naseehah (sincerity and sincere advice).” We said: To whom? He said: “To Allaah, His Book, His Messenger and to the leaders of the Muslims and the general people.” [ Saheeh Muslim] 

Imaam an-Nawawee, may Allaah have mercy on him, has a lengthy commentary on this hadeeth in Sharh Saheeh Muslim, in which he says: 

“Sincerity to Allaah means having faith in Him… avoiding disobedience to Him, to love for His sake and to hate for His sake, to keep good relations with those that obey Him and to have enmity with those that disobey Him. To fight jihaad with those who disbelieve in Him. To recognise His favours and to give thanks to Him for them. To have sincerity in all affairs. To call to everything that we have mentioned, and to encourage it. To show kindness to all the people, all those whom you are able to, in this call.” 

“..sincerity to the general Muslims … is to guide them to what is beneficial for them, both in the Hereafter and this life. To keep harm away from them, to teach them that which they are ignorant of regarding the Deen… to help them by words and actions, to hide their faults and to fulfill their needs and wants; to remove that which is harmful for them and to bring that which is of benefit to them; enjoin them with good and forbid them from evil, with gentleness, sincerity and compassion for them. 

Having respect for their elderly and mercy for their young. To give them good admonition, not acting deceitfully towards them. To love the good things for them, which he would love for himself. To hate the bad things for them, which he would hate for himself. To protect their wealth and reputation and encourage and advise them to take on the character of all that we have mentioned, form all the types of sincerity…” 

 

If you skipped the last three paragraphs, I urge you to scroll up and read them slowly and carefully – they contain the prescription to our problems as an Ummah.

 As Muslims, our main concern is not to score points over each other—it is to help each other gain Allaah’s pleasure. 

As Muslims, our job in this world is to establish the Truth—how can we presume to do that when we fail to be honest in our innermost motives? 

As Muslims, our supplication is: Allaahummaa ij’al baatinanaa khayran min dhaahirina; wa-ija’al dhaahiranaa khayran [O Allaah! Make the hidden aspects of our personality better than our outer persona; and make our appearance good]—how can we assume vicegerency over the Earth when we fail to be sincere slaves to our Lord; when we are concerned with outward appearances more than the state of our soul? 

 

From IslamicAwakening.com  Figure: Sami Yusuf – All I need

How to deal with a Girlfriend-Boyfriend Relationship?

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

 

By Amatullah Islam.

 

In the last article (Preventing the-girlfriend-boyfriend-relationship) Most parents react with extremity upon discovering that their daughter is in a girlfriend-boyfriend situation: they lock her in her room and forbid her to see the boy again. What would be the reaction from the girl when she is faced with this? She would rebel. That is, she would do the opposite of what the parents say and, in extreme cases, run away from home. If this is not how parents want it to end, they must tread lightly. Do everything with a light touch because teenagers respond better to it. At any signs of heavy-handedness, teenagers rebel. 

The first step in any bridge-building is to talk. Calmly talk to your daughter to understand why she is having a boyfriend. 

What led to this? 

There are many reasons why girls seek out boys. The first culprit that parents point the accusing finger at, is the girl’s raging hormones. This may be true in some girls but not all. There are girls who have raging hormones but who can control themselves, and then there are girls who do not have raging hormones but who still pursue the opposite sex.

Therefore, what are some other possible reasons for the girl’s behaviour?

Peer pressure is one. When all her friends and school mates have boyfriends, she feels compelled to follow suit. If she does not have a boyfriend of her own then she feels left out because she cannot fit in with their after school activities and cannot join in their conversations. What makes it worse is that everyone will see her as a “geek”.

Another reason is if she is undertaking a popularity contest. She competes with other girls in attaining as many boyfriends as she can to see who will be the popularity queen. These contests also occur because it is seen that only popular girls have boyfriends.

Boredom often drives a girl into the arms of a boy. She sees her life as monotonous and so searches for thrill and excitement with the boy. 

Or perhaps her self-esteem is low, so she depends on him to make her feel desirable and wanted. 

Yet another reason is that she needs to be loved. She seeks her parents love but cannot access it, therefore, she seeks it elsewhere. Similar to this is if she is seeking her parents attention. She defies them in seeking a boyfriend so that she can have their attention. Any attention to her is better than no attention. The difference between the need for love and the need for attention is that the former does it passively. If she cannot get it from her parents then she goes elsewhere. Whereas the latter demands it from her parents.

There could be other reasons or the reasons could be a combination of the above. However, whatever the reason or reasons may be, parents need to identify and understand it. This is easier than it sounds as parents have a tendency of triggering their daughters to clam up. 

How to approach them 

When parents talk, care needs to be taken so as not to become accusative (“You did this to…”) and judgmental (“You are so…”), otherwise it will end up like a police interrogation (“Why did you…?”). This only adds to their daughter’s defiance. Also, to keep her self-esteem intact, avoid using “should”, “don’t” and all other negative words.

Talking effectively also means to know when to listen. This includes not only hearing but understanding. To understand what has been said, parents need to clarify it (“Do you mean…?”), acknowledge it (“You feel… because…”) and empathise with it (“You sound really…”). When the teenager feels that her parents understand her, she will be encouraged to confide in them and explain why she does things and how she feels about it. And as I said earlier, by understanding, parents will get the full picture and will then know which appropriate action to take. Also, if parents want to be listened to by their children, they need to model good listening skills. Children tend to do as parents do rather than as parents say. So now is always a good time to start practising these skills. 

Insecurity
Looking closer at the above reasons, parents will see that the underlying factor is that the girl feels insecure about herself. Her self-esteem is low and so she relies on the boy to make her feel good about herself. The root of falling into the trap of peer-pressures, popularity contests, the need to be wanted and loved, and to have attention, is insecurity. If this is the case then give her the love and attention that she needs. Show and tell her that you love her despite her “bad” behaviours, and yet you will not tolerate them. Teach her how to feel good about herself and her religion. Build her self-esteem by acknowledging her good behaviours and achievements or her attempts to achieve (and not focusing on failures). Assign her challenging tasks and stimulating activities. This also applies to the bored daughter. Take her to teenage Islamic gatherings and camps. Encourage her to make new Muslim friends. As to the one with raging hormones who cannot control herself, ask her if she would like to marry (but do not force it upon her). 

Certainly, remind her that it is the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship that cannot be approved and teach her (again) about Islam’s position with regards to this. Lastly, provide Muslim role models for her. Stories about those women who guard their chastity and piety are are rewarded for doing so. Maryam, mother of Prophet Eesa (a.s), is one great example.

Don’t forget about the boys 

Having taken care of the daughter, I will now focus attention on the son. It is ironical that parents react as if there is a death in the family when their daughter engages in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. But when it is the son who is in a similar or worst position, the same parents are complaisant. feel that the boy needs to have experience and enjoy himself first before he can settle down and marry. It is as if the daughter alone carries the honour of the family.

Honour needs to be distributed evenly among the family if it is to be kept intact. This means the father, mother, son and daughter must each guard their own honour. If the father or mother loses his or her honour then they are providing the role model for their children. And if the son loses his honour and goes unpunished then the daughter will see this as a hypocritical act and consequently rebels. For any mediating action to work on the daughter, parents must be consistent on their son as well. Look to the reasons why girls pursue boys then parents will see that those are the same ones that propel boys into the arms of girls.

Courtesy of: kalamullah.com

Dilemma Facing the Youth

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Uthaymeen hafidhahullaah

Introduction

Verily all praises are due to Allaah. We praise and glorify him, we seek help from him, we ask of his forgiveness and we turn to him. We seek refuge in him from the evil within us and from our evil deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides there is no one to mislead him and whomsoever Allaah misguides; there is no one to guide him. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, who is one, and he has no partner. I bear witness that Muhammad sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam is his servant and his messenger. May Allaah bestow Durood (His choicest blessings) upon him and his noble family and companions and those who followed them with excellence.

It gives me great pleasure to present to my brothers a very serious problem not only in Islaamic society but in every society, and that is the problem facing the youth in this age. The hearts of the youth are sicken with psychological problems which sometimes makes them uneasy with life and they spend their energies in trying to free themselves from those difficulties and removing that sorrow. The removal of the difficulties will will never take place except with Deen (Religion) and character in which there is the strengthening of society and the betterment of this world and the hereafter. With this (religion and character), goodness and blessings will descend and evil and calamities will end.

Countries do prosper except with the help of its citizens and religion does not gain strength except with its followers. When the followers of Islaam will stand up for it, Allaah will help them no matter how many enemies they have. Allaah Ta’ala says:

“O believers, if you help Allaah’s cause, he will help you and make your feet firm (against your enemies) and those who disbelieved, woe unto them and their actions are in vain.” [47:7,8]

If Deen (religion) cannot be strong except with it’s followers, then it is necessary for us, the followers of Islaam and it’s flag-bearers, that we firstly stregthen ourselves so that we may become worthy of leadership and guidance. It is imperative that we learn from the book of Allaah (The Qur’aan) and the Sunnah of his Rasool (Messenger) sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam which will equip us for speech, action, guiding and inviting. This will enable us to carry the weapons of the guidance of Islaam to all those who seek the truth and also to wield it against all those who seek falsehood.

Then it is necessary for us to put into practice what we have learnt from the Qur’aan and Sunnah, on the basis of Eemaan (faith), conviction and sincerity Our characteristic should not be one of speech only because if speech is not backed up by action, it’s effect will not extend beyond the speaker and this speech will have an opposite elect:

“O believers, why do you say that which you do not do. It is most hateful in the sight of Allaah that you say that which you do not practice.” [61:2-3]

It is most appropriate for us that we start at the beginning and ponder over our youth and their thoughts and actions, so that we may increase those which are good and correct those who are incorrect because the youth of today are the men of tomorrow and they are the foundation on which a future nation will be built. It is for this reason that the text of the Sharee’ah (Islaamic Law) has encouraged giving the youth due consideration and directing them to which is good and correct. They are the basis of the Ummah of which it’s future will be built and if their reformation is grounded upon the strong pillars of the Deen (Religion) and character, there will be a brilliant future for this Ummah, if Allaah wills.

A glance at the youth

If we closely exam the the youth, it will be possible for us to conclude that the youth are generally of three types: Rightly guided youth, deviated or perverted youth and youth who are confused (between evil and good).

The first type

Rightly guided youth are: Youth who firmly believe in all the implications of this Kalima (the shahadatain). They termly believe in their Deen (Religion). Eemaan (Faith) is beloved to them and they are content and satisfied with their Eemaan. They consider aquiring Imaam as a profit and deprivation from it as a big loss.

Youth who worship Allaah sincerely. They worship Allaah alone who has no partner.

Youth who follow the Messenger of Allaah, Muhammad sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam practically in his speech and action because they believe that he is the Messenger of Allaah and the leader of all messengers.

Youth who establish salah (Prayer) perfectly to the best of their ability, because they believe in the benefit and the religious, worldly and social merit found in prayer and the dangerous consequences of neglecting salah for both the individual andd the nation.

Youth who give Zakah in full to those who are deserving of it, because they believe that Zakah fulfils the needs of Islaam and it is one of the five Pillars of Islaam.

Youth who fast during the month of Ramadaan. They stop themselves from their desires and cravings, whether it is summer or winter because they believe that actions are for the pleasure of Allaah. Thus they give preference to that which pleases Allaah over that which they desire.

Youth who perform the compulsory duty of Hajj (Pilgrimage) to the sacred house of Allaah because they love Allaah. Thus they love the house of Allaah and they love going to the places of his mercy and forgiveness and collaborating with his Muslim brothers who come to these places.

Youth who believe in Allaah who is their creator and the creator of the skies and the each, because they see from amongst the signs of Allaah that which leaves no doubt even for a moment whatsoever in the existence and being of Allaah. They see in this vast unique universe, in the form and system of the universe, that which clearly indicates towards the existence of it’s creator and His total power and complete wisdom, because it is not possible for this universe to come into existence on it’s own, nor is it possible for it to come into existence coincidentally. The reason for this is that the universe was non-existent before it was brought into existence, and that which is non-existent cannot bring anything into existence, because it itself is non-existent.

It is not possible that the universe camee into existence coincidentally because it has a unique well-arranged system, which does not change nor variate from the procedure predestined for it.

“You will never find a change in the system of Allaah.” [33:62]

“You will never fmd any reversal in the system of Allaah.” [35:43]

“You will not see in the creation of the most gracious any disparity, so turn your vision again. Do you see any rupture? Then turn your vision again, a second time, your vision will return to you dull an in a state of fatigue.”[67:3-4]

The fact that this universe has a unique, well-arranged system, prevents it’s existence being coincidental. That which is in existence coincidentally will also have a system which is coincidental, which is likely to change or be disturbed in a short period of time.

Youth who believe in the angels of Allaah because Allaah has given information regarding them (the angels) in his book the Qur’aan and his Messenger sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam has given information regarding to in the Sunnah (the traditions). The Qur’aan and Sunnah explain their qualities, their worship and their actions to which they rigidly stick to for the goodness of the creation. This clearly points to the existence of the angels.

Youth who believe in the Books of Allaah. Allaah revealed these books to his Messengers as a source of guidance for the creation towards the straight path. It is not possible for the mind of man to understand the intricacies of worship and social life except with the books of Allaah.

Youth who believe in the prophets and Messengers of Allaah whom Allaah sent to his creation to call them towards good and enjoin them with good and prevent them from evil so that people do not have any proof against Allaah after the sending of prophets. The very first Messenger was Nooh alayhis-salam and the last messenger was Muhammad sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.

Youth who believe in the last day in which people will be resurrected after dying, so they may be compensed for their actions. Whoever does good equal to an atom, will reap it, and whoever does evil equal to an atom, will reap it. This is the cosequence of this world, otherwise what is the benefit of life and what is the wisdom of life if there is no day for the creation in which the doer of good will be compensated for his good, and the perpetrator of evil, punished for his evil?

Youth who believe in the predestination of good and evil. Thus they believe that everything is with the decree of Allaah and his divine foreordainment. This is despite their belief in causes and their related effects and that for both good and evil there are means.

Youth who adhere to the advice of Allaah, His messengers, His book, the leaders of the Muslims and the general masses. They interact with Muslims with frankness and openness – the way it is incumbent upon them. They neither mislead, deceive nor conceal anything.

Youth who call towards Allaah with deep insight, in accordance to the manner Allaah has laid down in his book.

“Call towards the path of your Sustainer with wisdom and sound advice and debate with them in a manner that is befitting.” [16:125]

Youth who enjoin good and forbid from evil because they believe that in this is the success of the nation.

“You are the best of nations, taken out for the guidance of mankind. You enjoin good and forbid from evil and you have full faith in Allaah.” [3:110]

Youth who strive in the changing of evil in the way established by the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam: “Whomsoever from amongst you see an evil he should change it with his hand. If he does not have the power to do this, then he should change it with his tongue. If he does not have the ability to do even this, then he should change it with his heart (by scheming in the eradication of this evil).” (Hadith)

Youth who speak the truth and accept the truth, because truth leads to good and good leads to paradise. A person will continue being truthful and pursue the truth until Allaah records him as being a truthful person.

Youth who love good for the general Muslims because they believe in the saying of Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam: “None from amongst you can be a true believer until he loves for his (Muslim) brother that which he loves for himself.” (Hadith)

A teenager who is cognizant of his responsiblity to Allaah and his nation. He strives always for the goodness of his Deen (Religion), his nation and homeland, keeping far from egoism and far from giving consideration to his own good at the expense of the good of others.

A teenager who strives for the pleasure of Allaah and with the help of Allaah in the path of Allaah. He strives with sincerity without pride or want of reputation. He strikes with the help of Allaah without being conceited and without depending on his own might and power. He strives in the path of Allaah for the upliftment of his Deen without exceeding the bounds and without laxity. He strives with his tongues, hand and wealth in the manner that the needs of Islaam, and the Muslims demand of him.

Youth who have character and Deen in them, thus they are of refined character, religion, gentle, liberal, noble-minded. clean-hearted, steadfast, enduring and resolute. They do not waste any opportunity nor do they let compassion overcome intelligence and the need for reformation.

A teenager who is systematic. He works with wisdom and silence despite being firm and excellent in his work. He does not waste any opportunity but instead occupies himself in actions which are beneficial for him and his nation.

Together with this, this teenager safe-guards his Deen, character and conduct. Thus he is extremely distant from those qualities which contradict this, like kufr (disbelief), apostasy, inequity, disobedience, lowly character and evil mutual relations.

These types of youth are the pride of a nation and a symbol of it’s prosperity and Deen. These are the youth who will obtain the good of this world and the hereafter. They are the youth who we hope that Allaah, with his grace, will use to rectify the corruption amongst the Muslims and illuminate the spiritual path of the seekers of truth.

The second type

The second type of teenager is the one who is corrupt in his beliefs, irresponsible in his conduct, himself misled, ingulfed in vice; he does not accept the truth from anyone nor does he refrain from falsehood and he is selfish in his conduct. He is a teenager who is stubborn. He does not yield to the truth nor does he renounce falsehood. He does not care about his neglect of the rights of man nor the rights of Allaah. He is a confused teenager bereft of impartiality in his thinking and in his behaviour. Likewsie he lacks balance in all his affairs.

A teenager who is conceited with his own opinion as if truth flows from his tongue. He, in his opinion, is free from mishaps, while others are a source of mistakes and slip-ups as long as they contradict his option.

A teenager who has turnned away from the straight path in his deen and the accepted norms of conduct. The evil of his conduct has been made alluring to him. Therefore he regards it as virtuous. Thus he is the greatest of losers in respect of his deeds. These are the ones whose efforts have been wasted in this life, while they presumed that they were doing good.

He is an evil omen upon himself and a misfortune for his society, one who is driving his nation towards the lowest stage. He is a barrier between his nation and their respect and munificence, a lethal influence, difficult to treat – except if Allaah wishes. Allaah has power over everything.

The third type

The third type of teenager is he who is confused and doubtful. He recognises the truth and is content with it. He lives in a guarded society except that the doors of evil have opened up for him from every direction. This has created doubt in his beliefs, deviation in his conduct, weakness in his action, a foray from known practices and an influx of diverse falsehood. Thus he is in eternal thought and inner search. Opposing this influx or movement (of falsehood) is uncertainty. He does not know whether the truth lies in the prevailing idealogies or in the way of his pious predecessors and his safeguarded society. He is thus in doubt – sometimes he accords preference to one side and sometimes the next according to the strength of the influx of these thoughts.

This type of teenager is passive in his life. He is in need of captivating strength which will guide him towards the enclosure of truth and the path of goodness. How easy will this not be Allaah prepares for him a person who calls towards good, who is wise, knowledgeable and of good intentions?

These types of teenagers are found in abundance. They obtain a smattering of Islaamic education but they acquire much more secular knowlege which conflicts with the basics of Deen either in reality or in their presumptions. Thus they are helpless between the 2 cultures. It is possible for them to gain liberation from this helplessness by establishing themselves upon Islaamic education and acquiring this education from it’s original sources – the book of Allaah (the Qur’aan) and the Sunnah (traditions) of Muhammad sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam at the hands of devoted Ulema (learned men) – and this is not difficult for them.

The digression of the youth and their problems

The reasons for the digression and the difficulties of the youth are many and varied. Man, during the phase of youths is to a large extent in the process of the development of the body, thought processes and the mind, because this is the phase of growth during which he undergoes rapid changes. In this stage it is of extreme importance that the tools of self-control are prepared for him coupled with wise leadership to steer him towards the straight path.

From amongst the important reasons for this retrogression are the following:

1) Idleness: Idleness is a malady which kills thought processes, the mind and the strength of the body, because the body is always in need of movement and work. Thus when the body is idle thoughts become dull and the mind weakens, body movements weaken and devilish insinuations and evil thoughts form on to the heart. Many times an exil intention is create as a result of this suppression which was a direct consequence of idleness. The cure for this problem is that the teenage should strive in the attaining of work which befits him like reading, business or writing which will then become a barrier between him and his idleness. It is necessary that he becomes a stable member of society, working in his society for himself and for others.

2) Alienation and aloofness between the youth and the elderly members of their families or between the youth and others: We see some elders witnessing deviation in their youth but they hesitate, are disconcerted, helpless to strengthen them and dependent from reforming them. The result of this is hatred is for these youth, estrangement from them and a dont-care attitude towards their condition, whether their condition is one of piety or corruption. Sometimes they pass judgement concerning all the youth which translates into a blank impression of the youth in general. This splits the community whereby the youth and their elders begin looking at one another with the eyes of contempt. This is amongst the greatest dangers that can encompass human society. The cure for this problem is that the youth and their elders should make an effort to eradicate this alienation between them and trust everyone because the society together with it’s youth and elders are like one body. When one part of it decays, it leads to the decay of the whole body. It is incumbent upon the elders that they give deep thought to their responsibility concerning the reformation of the youth and dispel this contagious despondency from their hearts, because Allaah has power over everything. How may corrupt people did Allaah not guide, after which they became beacons of guidance and callers towards reform? It is necessary for the youths to entertain respect, regard for the opinions and acceptance of the guidance of their seniors who experienced the realities of life which these youth have not. When the wisdom of the seniors will meet with the strength of the youth, the society will attain prosperity with the will of Allaah.

3) Liason with deviated and corrupt people and befriending them. This has a great effect on the mind, the thinking and ways of the youth. For this reason Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam is reported to have said: “A person is on the Deen (Religion) of his companion, so each one of you should take care in the matter of who he befriends.” He sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam also said: “The similitude of an evil companion is like an ironsmith using an oven. Either you will burn your clothes in his company or you will experience an offensive odour.” (Hadith) The sure for this problem is that the teenager should choose for his companionship those who are good and intelligent go that he may benefit from their virtue, reformed ways and intelligence. He should weigh up their condition and reputation before befriending them. If they are people of character, virtue, correct Deen and good reputation, then befriend them. If they do not possess these qualities, then it is incumbent to distance oneself from them so that one is not deceived by sweet talk and beautiful outward appearances. This is deception and misguidance. This path is traversed by evil people to allure the simple-minded in order to increase their multitude and conseal their evil condition. A poet has said it most beautifully: Test men when you intend to befriend them, Scrutinize and study their affairs.

4) Reading of destructive periodicals, booklets and magazines which create doubt in the Deen of a person and in his beliefs. This draws a person towards the abrogation of virtuous character and lands him in Kufr (disbelief) and vice. This is especially true when the teenager does not possess deep Deeni education and acute thinking by means of which he can differentiate between truth and falsehood, benefit and harm The reading of these types of books totally confounds the because they imbibe a false pleasure in the minds and thinking of the youth without reservation. The cure for this problem is that he should keep away from these books and read other books which will plant in his heart the love of Allaah and his Rasool sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam and the reality of Eemaan (Belief) and good deeds. No doubt his inner self will entice him greatly towards those books which he loved previously and make him feel discontent with other beneficial woks. This is similar to the position of that person who lights with his inner self to establish the obedience of Allaah in his life, but his soul rebels and becomes involved in futility and lies. The most important of beneficial books is the book of Allaah and those which the people of knowledge have written by way commentary with correct transmission. In the same way the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then that which the people ofknowledge have written by extracting from these two sources or by way of deep understanding.

5) The impression of some youth that Islaam is a curtailment of freedom and a repression of strength. Thus they tum away from Islaam regarding it as retrogression and a barrier between them and progress. The cure for this problem is that the veil of the reality of Islaam be lifted from these youth who are ignorant of it’s reality because of their wrong nations, inadequate knowledge or both. Islaam does not restrict freedom but it is a control and a correct chanelling for it, so much so that the freedom of one person does not clash with the freedom of the next person. General freedom leads to chaos and eruption. It is for this reason that the injunctions of Deen are called Hudood (limits). If the injunction is one of prohibition Allaah says: “They are the limits imposed by Allaah, do not approach them.” [2:187] If it is one of consent, Allaah Ta’ala says, “These are the limits imposed by Allaah, do not transgress them.”[2:229] This is the difference between restriction (which is the impression of some) and control and guidance which the most wise, the all-knowing Allaah has decreed for his servants. There is no basis for this problem because systemisation is a reality in all domains and man by nature is submissive to this systematic reality. He is submissive to the pressure of hunger and thirst and to the system of his food and drink as far as quantity, quality and type is concerned so that he may safeguard his body and it’s health. He is in the same way submissive to the system of his society, holding on to the customs of his city in it’s dwellings, garb and modes of transport. If he does not subject himself to this, he will be considered as being abnormal and he will be treated the way extraordinary people are treated. Life is totally a submission to specified limits so that everything progresses according to it’s intended aim. This subjucation is for the order of society, eg. submission which is necessary for the reformation of society and the prevention of anarchy. In the same way submission to the system of the Sharee’ah entails that which is necessary for the reformation of the naion so how can some people be annoyed with it and think of it as being a restriction of freedom? Verily this is a great untruth and a baseless, evil presumption. Islaam in the same way is not a suppression of capabilities. It is a wide sphere for all strengths. Islaam calls towards reflection so that man contemplates and his mind and thoughts grow. Allaah Ta’ala says: “Say O Muhammad, I advise you of one thing only, that you stand up in two’s and singlely and then reflect.” [34:46] and Allaah says: “Say O Muhammad, see what is in the heavens and the earth.” [10:101] Islaam does not confine itself to calling towards contemplation and deep thought but it denounces those who do not think, observe and contemplate. Allaah Ta’ala says: “Have they not considered the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and what things Allaah has created?” [7:185] Allaah Ta’ala says: “Have they not pondered upon themselves? Allaah did not create the heavens and the earth and that which is between them, except with truth.” [30:8] And Allaah Ta’ala says: “And he who we give old age. We reverse him in creation (making him go back to weakness after strength), do you not ponder?” [36:68]

The order of observing and pondering opens up the power of the mind and thoughts, so how can some people say; that it restricts capabilities? Dreadful is the word they utter; they only speak a lie. Islaam has legalized for it’s people all pleasures in which there is no harm for the individual either physically, mentally or spiritually. Islaam has authorised the eating and drinking of all pure things: “O believers, eat of the good things from which we have provided you, and render thanks to Allaah.” [2:172] Allaah Ta’ala says: ”And eat and drink and do not waste. He does not love those who waste.” [7:31] Islaam has legalised all clothing to the demands of wisdom and nature:“O Children of Adam! We have revealed unto you clothing to conceal your shame, and splendid countenance, but the clothing of piety, that is best.”[7:26] Allaah Ta’ala says: “Say O Muhammed, who has forbidden the beautiful (gifts) of Allaah which He has produced for His servants and the pure things (which He hasproduced) for sustenance? Say, they are in the life of this world for those who believe, and only for them on the Day of Judgement.”[7:32] He has authorised enjoyment of women by legitimate Nikaah (Marriage): Allaah Ta’ala says: “Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one.” [4:3] In the domain of economics, Islaam has not suppressed the capabilities of it’s people but legalized for them all business dealings which are just and emanate from mutual happiness. Allaah says: “Allaah has permitted trade and forbidden usury.”[2:276] And he says: “lt is he who has made the earth manageable for you, so traverse through its tracks and eat of the sustenance which He provides, and He is responsible for the resurrection.” [67:15] And he says, “And when the prayer is finished, then disperse through the land, and seek of the bounty of Allaah.” [62:10] After all this, is the impression or saying of some people correct, that Islaam suppresses capabilities?

Problems that recur in the heart of the teenager

Misgivings and evil thoughts keep recurring on a dead heart which contradicts Deen. It is for this reason that when it was said to Ibn Masud or Ibn-e-Abbas (Radiallaahu anhum) that the Jews say that they do not get evil thoughts in their prayers, i.e. they do not experience apprehensions, he replied,”They have spoken the truth, what can Shaytaan do with an empty heart?”

If the heart is alive and there is even a bit of Eemaan (faith) in it, then Shaytaan attacks it. His attack is devoid of leniency and sluggishness. He throws in the heart such evil thoughts which are detrimental to Deen. It is most destructive if the servant accepts these evil thoughts until Shaytaan induces him to create doubts in his Lord, Deen and beliefs. If he finds in the heart any weakness and frustration, Shaytaan overwhelms that heart until he takes it out of the confines of Deen. However, if he finds in the heart strength and steadfastness, he devises a contemptible scheme to mislead the servant.

These evil thoughts that Shaytaan casts in the him will not harm a person if he practices the therapy mentioned by Rasulullah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam concerning it: Ibn-e-Abbas (RadiAllaahu anhuma) narrates than a person came to Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam and said: “I am having a certain feeling within myself which being a burning ember is more desirable to me than my uttering it.” Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “All praise are due to Allaah who has rejected his scheme i.e. driven away Shaytaan’s evil thoughts.” (Hadith)

Some people from the Sahabah (companions) came and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, we find within ourselves (such a feeling) which overwhelms each one of us from speaking about it i.e. he feels it imposing to speak about it.” Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam asked: “Do you also experience it?” The companions replied, “Yes.” Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam replied, “That is true faith (Eemaan).”The meaning of having true faith is that evil thoughts and your rejection of them does not harm your Eemaan even a bit but it is a proof that your Imaam is sincere and has not been affected by any loss.

Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam has said: “Shaytaan (the Devil) comes to one of you and says. Who has created this? Who has created this? until he says : Who has created your Lord? When he reaches this limit, then seek refuge in Allaah and in his compassion.” (Hadith)

It is state in another Hadith regarding the same situation. “You should say: I believe in Allaah and his messengers.” And in a similar Hadith that Abu Dawood has narrated, Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “Say Allaah is one, Allaah is independent, He does not give birth nor was he given birth to, there blow a little saliva towards the left thrice and seek refuge from the accursed Shaytaan.”

Once the Sahaaba (RadiAllaahu anhum) described this ambition to Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam for which he prescribed the cure in four steps:

First: The termination of evil noughts by completely shunning and forgetting them until they do not exist and then occupying oneself away from these thoughts with balanced thinking.

Second: Seek refuge in Allaah from these evil thoughts and from the accursed Shaytaan.

Third: He should say, I believe in Allaah and his Messengers.

Fourth: He should say, Allaah is one, Allaah is independent, He does not give birth nor was he given birth to, there is none comparable to Him, spit to his left side thrice and say, “I seek refuge in Allaah from the cursed Shaytaan.”

Confusion Regarding the issue of predestination

From those issues which keep recurring and leaves the youth bewildered is the issue of predestination. Belief in predestination is one of the pillars of Eemaan and Imaam is not complete without it. This belief entails the belief that Allaah, who is pure, knows what is going to happen and what is predestined for the skies and earth, as Allaah says: “Don’t you know that Allaah knows all that is in the heaven and on the earth? Indeed, it is all in a record and it is easy for Allaah.” [22:70]

Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam has prevented us from quarrelling and debating in the matter of predestination. Abu Hurairah (RadiAllaahu-anhu) relates that RasullAllaah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam came to us while we were debating about predestination. Seeing this he became angry until his blessed face turned red with anger. Then he said: “Did I order you to do this? Is it for this that I was at to you? The nations before you were destroyed when they debated this issue. I take a firm resolution from you that you will not quarrell in this matter.” (Hadith)

Engrossing oneself and quarrelling in the matter of predestination lands a person in a maize from which he does not have the ability to emerge. The path of salvation is that you should aspire to do good and strive in the doing of good as you have been ordered because Allaah, who is pure, has granted you intellect and understanding, and sent to you Messengers and revealed with them. Allaah Ta’ala says, “So that mankind, after the coming of the Messengers, should have no proof against Allaah for Allaah is Exalted in Power and Wise.” [4:165]

When Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam informed his companions that there is no person except that his abode in Jannah (heaven) and Jahannam (hell) has been foreordained, they said, “O Messenger of Allaah, should we not depend upon our book (predestinations) and leave the doing of good deeds.” Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam replied: “Do good deeds, everything is made easy for what is was created. Those who are from the fortunate people, the actions of fortunate people will be made easy for them, and those who are from the wretched people, for them the actions of the wretched will be made easy.” Then the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam recited the verse: “He who gives in charity and fears (Allaah), and in all sincerity testifies to good, We will indeed make smooth for him the path to ease, but he who is a greedy miser and thinks himself self-sufficient and disbelieves in good, We will indeed make his path to adversity easy.”[92:5-10]

Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam ordered them to do good deeds and did not permit them to depend upon their preordainment because those who are predestined to be from the people of Jannah will not be from amongst them except if they do the actions and deeds of the people of Jannah, and those who are predestined to be from the people of Hell will not be from amongst them except if they do their actions. Action is according to the ability of a person because he himself knows that Allaah has given him a choice in the doing of action and predestined it for him. If he wishes, he can either do it or leave it.

If a man makes an intention to travel, then he will travel and if he intends halting, then he will do so. If sees a fire, he will flee from it and if he sees a thing which is beloved to him, he will go forward. Similarly with regards to obedience and sin, a person practices them by his own choice and leaves them by his own choice.

There are two objections according to some people regarding the issue of predestination:

Firstly: Man sees that he does something by his own choice and he leaves all action by his own choice without perceiving any compulsion upon the doing or leaving of an action, so how does this coincide with the belief that everything is with the decree and foreordainment of Allaah? The answer to this is that if we contemplate the action and movement of man, we will fmd that it is the result of two things viz. intention i.e. the choice to do something, and ability. If these two things are not found, the action will not occur. Intention and ability are both the creation of Allaah, who is Most Pure, because intention is the result of the strength of-the mind and ability is the result of the strength of the body. If Allaah so wishes he can snatch away the mind of man and he would be left without any intention or snatch away his ability leaving action impossible for him. When man makes a firm intention to do an action and he executes it, it is our knowledge with conviction that Allaah had intended and destined that action, otherwise his intention would have changed or he would have found a barrier between himself and ability to carry out that action. A Bedouin was asked, “How do you recognise Allaah?” He replied, “By the breaking of firm intentions and the changing of resolutions.”

The second objection: which recurs according to some people in the matter of-predestination is that man will be punished for his sinful deeds. How can he be punished for it when it is predestined for him and it is not possible for him to escape from something which is predestined for him. How is he rewarded for his obedience when it is predestined for him and it is not possible for him to escape from something which is predestined for him? It is unjust that you make predestination an argument for disobedience while you do not make it an argument for obedience. The second answer is that Allaah has negated this argument in the Qur’aan and classified it as an ignorant statement. Thus Allaah Ta’ala says, “Soon the idolaters will say, if Allaah willed we would not have ascribed partners to Allaah nor would our fathers have, nor would we have forbidden anything. In the same way their ancestors argued falsely, until they tasted our wrath. Say, have you any (certain) knowledge? If so, produce it before us. You follow nothing but presumption and you only lie.” [6: 148]

Allaah Ta’ala has explained that these objectors of predestination, have in their ranks those who were before them, who falsified (the Messengers) the way these people falsify (the Prophets), and they remained firm upon this action of theirs until they toted Allaah’s punishment. If their proof was correct, Allaah would not have made the taste of His punishment. Then Allaah ordered his Nabi to challenge them to prove the correctness of their beliefs and explain to them that they have no proof for this.

The third answer is that preordainment is a hidden secret. Nobody knows about it except Allaah until it happens. How can a sinner have knowledge about the txt that Allaah has predestined for him sin until he does it? Is it not possible that Allaah had ordained for him obedience? So why does he not in place of going towards sin, go towards obedience and say Allaah has definitely predestined for me that I obey him?

The fourth answer is that Allaah has blessed man by what he has given him of intelligence and understanding, and revealed upon him books and sent to him messengers and outlined to him what is beneficial and what is non-beneficial and blessed him with intention and ability with which he has the power to traverse either path. So why does lis sinner choose the path of harm over the path of benefit?

If this sinner intended going on a journey to another place and he had two roads to choose from: one is easy and peaceful and the other difficult and frightful, he most definitely would traverse the easy, peaceful path and not the difficult, frightful path because of the argument that Allaah had predestined it for him. If he traversed the path of difficulty and used the argument that Allaah had predestined it for him, people would think of him as being naive and insane. In the same way are the paths of good and evil. Man will traverse the path of good and not deceive himself by traversing the path of evil on the pretext that Allaah had predestined it for him. We see that every person has the ability to earn his livelihood. We see that he traverses every path in the gaining of his livelihood. He dos not sit in his house and leave earning, holding on to the excuse of predestination.

Otherwise, what is the difference between striving for the world and striving in the obedience of Allaah? Why do you make divine foredainment a proof for yourself upon the leaving out of obedient and you do not make it a proof for the leaving out of worldly action? The clarity of an argument is in it’s place but desires make a person blind and deaf.

Ahadeeth in which there is mention of the youth

When these words have revolved around the problems of the youth, I would like to mention some Ahadith in which there is a mention of the youth. From amongst them are:

1. “Your Lord is pleased with that teenager who is free of youthful passion.” (Narrated by Ahmad)

2. “There are seven such persons for whom Allaah will provide shade from his shade on that day who there will be no other shade except his. A just ruler, a youth who was nurtured in the obedience of Allaah, a man whose heart is attached to the Masjid, two people who love each other only for the pleasure of Allaah. They meet for the pleasure of Allaah. A man who is enticed by a woman of status and beauty and he says, “I fear Allaah.” A man who given charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given and a person who remembers Allaah in seclusion and tears flow from his eyes (due to the fear of Allaah).” (Narrated by Bukhaaree and Muslim)

3. “Hasan and Husain (RadiAllaahu-anhuma) will both be the leaders of the youth of Jannah.”(Narrated by Tirmidhi)

4. “It will be said to the people of Jannah, for you is youth and you will never grow old.” (Narratted by Muslim)

5. “Never does a youngster honour an elderly person because of his old age but Allaah appoints somebody who will honour him during his old age.” (Narrated by Tirmidhi with a weak chain of narrators).

6. Abu Bakr said to Zaid bin Habit while Umar bin Khattaab was beside him (RadiAllaahu anhum):“You are a young, intelligently. We are not suspicious of you and you used to write the revelation for the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam so pursue the Qur’aan and gather it”(Narrated by Bukhaaree)

7. Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam came to a youngster while he was in the throes of death. Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam asked him, “In what condition do you find yourself?” He said, “I have hope in Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah and I fear for my sins.” Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said,“These two things (hope ad fear) do not gather in the heart of a servant at a moment like this, but Allaah grants him what he hopes for and saves him from that which he fears.” (Narrated by Ibn-e-Majah)

8. Bara Bin ‘Aazib (RadiAllaahu anhu) said concerning the battle of Hunain, “No, by Allaah, Rasullaah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam did not turn away, but even his young companions who were fatigued and ill equiped emerged to fight.” (Narrated by Bukhaaree)

9. Ibn-e-Mas’ood (RadiAllaahu anhu) narrates, “We used to fight with Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam while we were young.” (Narrated by Ahmed)

10. Anas Bin Malik (RadiAllaahu anhu) narrates: “There were seventy youth from among the Ansar, who were called Qurra (reciters), who used to remain in the masjid. When evening approached, they retreated to a corner in Medinah, where they learnt, taught each other and prayed. Their families were under the impression that they were in the Masjid and the people of the Masjid were under the impression that they were with their families, until the crack of dawn. They brought fresh water and gathered firewood which they presented at the room of Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.” (Narrated by Ahmad). Wiih this they used to buy food for the Ashaabus Suffah (people of the platform). The people of the platform were those destitutes who migrated to Madinah. They did not have any family in Madinah so they sought refuge at a platform in the Masjid.

11. Alqamah who is one of the companions of Ibn Masood (RadiAllaahu anhu) narrates, he says, “I was walking with Abdullah by Mina when he met Uthmaan (RadiAllaahu anhu). Abdullah stood talking with Uthmaan (RadiAllaahu anhu) when he said, “O Abu Abdir-Rahman, should we not marry you to a young girl so that she would remind you of some things which have passed during your era.” Abdullah said: “If you say that then surely Rasulullah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam told us, “O youth. Whoever from amongst you has the means, should marry, because it is more effective in the safeguarding of the gaze and more chaste for the private parts. If one does not have the ability to do this, then he should fast because it is a shield for him (from sins).” (Narrated by Bukhaaree and Muslim).

12. In the tradition concerning Dajjaal reported from Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, “Dajjaal will call a person who is in the prime of his youth and strike him with a sword, slicing him into two pieces, like the striking of a target. Then Dajjaal will call the youth. The youth will respond, his face being radiant – laughing.” (Narrated by Muslim)

13. Malik Bin Huwairith (RadiAllaahu anbu) narrates, “We came to Rasullah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam while we were youngsters of similar age. We stayed by him for twenty days and nights. The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam was merciful and gentle. When he guessed that we longed for our families into difficulty, he questioned us about what we had left behind, so we informed him. Then Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “Return to your families, live with them, teach them, invoke them,” and he mentioned a few other things. “Pray the way you see me performing the prayer. When the time of prayer approaches, then one of you should call out the call for prayer (Adhaan) and the eldest amongst you should lead the prayer.” (Narrated by Bukhaaree)

We ask Allaah to grant us benefit from this treatise and praises are only for Allaah who is the Lord of the Universe. May Allaah shower his choicest blessings and peace upon our Nabi sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam and upon all his family and companions.

Source: dilemma-facing-youth.html Figure: brandywine.psu.edu

Preventing the Girlfriend – Boyfriend Relationship

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

Amatullah Islam

Preventing the G-B Relationship 

Zina (fornication) has become a commonplace occurrence within the Muslim Youth community, and the Muslim girls and boys have sadly fallen prey to the snares of Western society. You may wonder how can such a situation occur when most Muslim parents virtually put their children under ‘lock and key’. The answer is that although most parents are strict where their children are concerned, they do not take the time to talk and explain to them about the seriousness of Zina. Instead, they give a Fatwa of “no boyfriend” when their daughters reach puberty. Such an action is like ordering a two year old child not to touch the power point. What do you think the child will do?
The following article highlights ways in which we can teach our children to shun this corrupt act. 

In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. This is what we have to ingrain into our children at the early stage. We should not wait for them to come to us when they are teenagers to ask about girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. At this late stage, even if we forbid them to have such a relationship, how certain are we that they will obey us if they are smitten by someone? Hence, it is important that we teach our children that the only time a girl or boy can have a relationship with a non-Mahram(non-Mahram is someone whom they can marry) is when they are married! Furthermore, if a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship.

At the teenage level, we should not be shy to teach them the severity of pre-marital relationship. We need to make them understand that that pre-marital relationships are like the extra-marital relationships, or what is commonly known as adultery or ‘an affair’. It ruins the community by corrupting the people. It unleashes base desires that, once allowed free-reign, will destroy families. We can quote to them the examples of illegitimate and abandoned children, broken homes, abortions, sexual diseases – the list goes on. We should also point out to them the punishment for sexual relationships outside of marriage: Ibn Masoud (r.a.a) related that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, “The blood of a Muslim may not be legally spilt other than in one of three instances: the married person who commits adultery, a life for a life, and one who forsakes his religion and abandons the community.” [Bukhari and Muslim]. In other words, the married person who commits adultery is to be killed by stoning to death [Muslim]. 

But what about the unmarried person who has sexual relationships? Rest assured that this person will not go unpunished – he or she is to be caned or whipped one hundred times [Muslim]. Even in the Hereafter, the punishment is severe: the Prophet (s.a.w) saw adulterers, men and women, in a baking oven in Hellfire [Bukhari].

 

At this stage your teenage child may say that girlfriend-boyfriend relationships need not go as far as the sexual act; that they can control themselves and simply enjoy each others company. To counter this, you say that it is a fact when a girl and a boy are alone together, their sexual desires awaken and before they know it, they will be doing things that are not permissible between unmarried people. The reason for this is because Shaytaan will be the third person with them [Ahmad] and he will whisper and tempt them with the forbidden. This is why Islam shuns all avenues leading to corruption of the mind, body and soul. 

Something else we must teach them is to restrain their desires. We can do so by giving them examples of the rewards for doing so, such as the person who controls his lust will be among people who Allah bestows mercy upon: Abu Hurairah (r.a.a) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said that among the seven persons whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the Day (of Judgement) when there is no shade except His Shade, is a man who is tempted by a beautiful woman and refuses to respond for fear of Allah. [Bukhari and Muslim]. 

Below are more points on how to help your child, at an early age, to be chaste so that when he/she is older, he/she can avoid getting into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. First, you must talk and explain to them these things when they are young, then when they are older, you make sure that it is put into practice. 

You must teach him or her to: 

1.      Not to freely mix with the opposite sex. 

2.      Not to look at the opposite sex. This is done by lowering or averting their eyes as Allah tells us: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts…” [24:30-31] Furthermore, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, “…do not let a second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you but not the second.” [Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhi]. What this means is that the first look is by accident. If this happens then do not take a second look. Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) also said that the eyes also commit adultery by looking at someone with lust. [Bukhari] 

3.      For girls, teach them not to make their voices seductive or sweet in front of non-Mahrams. This is done by lowering the voice and not flirting. As Allah tells the wives of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) “…do not be too pleasant of speech, lest one in whose heart there is a disease should feel desire for you…” [33:32] 

4.      Last but not least, teach them to wear appropriate clothing so as not to draw attention to themselves. That is, girls should wear Hijabs and loose clothing while boys should also wear loose clothing, not the tight jeans or pants with t-shirt tucked in. It is sad that, often, parents allow their children to wear the so called fashionclothing which, in most cases, do not meet the requirement of acceptable Islamic dress code. What is even sadder is to see Muslim mothers covering themselves properly walking with their uncovered teenage daughters and sons. 

5.      It is important that we start teaching our children the need to feel modesty, especially around the opposite sex. Regarding shyness, we should use the Prophet (s.a.w) as an example: Abu Said Al Khudri (r.a.a) reported that the Prophet (s.a.w) was more shy than a virgin in her own room. [Bukhari] If we instill this into them at an early age then, Insha’ Allah, whenever they are near the vicinity of the opposite sex, they will feel shy and, therefore, will not act inappropriately. It is also important that we keep the communication channels open with our children so that we can talk and explain to them things, and they can ask us questions, without any party feeling embarrassed. Then, when they are older, and with help from us, they will begin to understand why it is that there cannot be a thing called ‘the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship’. 

 

 Source: kalamullah.com

“I Can’t, It’s Impossible”

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

One often hears these words repeated, and they are a major reason for the state of failure that the Ummah is enduring.

These words are rooted in a state of mental inability, even though this inability is illusory, not real. Indeed, disabled minds only produce failure.

There is no doubt that there are things in life that are impossible. This is why when the Prophet – blessings and peace be upon him – used to take the oath of allegiance from his companions, he would make them repeat, “[I will listen and obey] to the utmost of my ability”. Allah – Glorified is He – says “Allah does not burden any soul with more than it can bear” [2:286]

This shows that there are some things beyond our abilities. We are not talking about this fact here. For otherwise we may enter into a prolonged discussion, and end upholding the illusion “I can’t, it’s impossible”, and moreover giving this illusion an ‘Islamic’ justification!

These two phrases “I can’t, it’s impossible” – despite their difference in meaning – have become a law that is used to excuse every failure, negligence and backwardness. They are used to justify the current backwardness, to numb the senses, to destroy the resolve of the Ummah, and to kill every success in its infancy.

Many people, generation after generation, took these two phrases as a beacon guiding their lives, as a way of thinking that makes them accept the current bitter state of affairs, and at the same time feel satisfied that there is nothing they can do.

I stand perplexed before the incredible backwardness of the Ummah, despite its enormous potential for success, progress, and leadership. I have thought long and hard about this, and have decided that the most prominent reason for this backwardness – and there are many – is the illusion “I can’t, its impossible”. This illusion has turned into an unshakeable principle. From it we take off, and in its darkness we operate.

How many tribulations befell us, and are still falling, because of this illusion. The most dangerous of these is not realizing that this is just an illusion; that it disappears when we start investigating it. But you will find those who waste a part of their life defending the idol “I can’t, it’s impossible”. They waste a part of their life trying to prove that this idol is a solid fact; an unquestionable axiom.

This illusion did not form overnight. It is the result of an accumulation of many factors, over the course of many years. Instead of producing men who would lead the Ummah forward without surrendering to the difficulties and obstacles, we found those factors producing more hopelessness, failure and despair.

But I am also amazed at that idolatrous nation that took from difficulties a starting point for its progress, until it was able to compete vigorously with its former enemies, without surrendering to psychological defeat, nor emotional despair. Japan rose from the ashes of Hiroshima and Nagasaki to become an important economic power, and did not make those defeats a reason to cry and hope for the sympathies of others.

As for Germany, it came out from underneath the ruins of World War II to become a powerful nation, and its economy one of the strongest in the world. This despite the fact that Germany was destroyed not long ago – the period between its destruction and its rise as an economic leader is less than 30 years.

Let me just imagine. Had the revivers of the Ummah surrendered to the illusion “I can’t, it’s impossible”, how would the Ummah have been now?!!

Had Abu Bakr – may Allah be pleased with him – said, “I can’t fight the Arabs after their apostasy, and I will surrender to this bitter state of affairs”, what would the result have been? Simply thinking about that scares me.

Had Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal – may Allah have mercy on him – not took his solid stand in the face of the makers of fitnah, backed by rulers who did not realize the danger of what is being said…Had he surrendered and said, “I can’t, it’s impossible”, do you think that that great victory for Ahl-us-Sunnah (at the hands of one man!) would have taken place?

Had Salahu-ud-Din surrendered to the awful humiliation that the Ummah endured under the occupation of the crusaders, excusing himself that he cannot take on that great power that possesses the most powerful weapons, with the unqualified support of many countries… Had he accepted what many other rulers of his time had accepted, humiliation and subjugation, together with the guarantee of continued rule…Had he done this, and said the removal of the crusaders is impossible, would Jerusalem have been purified from the crusaders and their hatred? How today is like yesterday.

Had Shaikh-ul-Islam, Ibn Taymiyah – may Allah have mercy on him – not seriously raised the banner of knowledge, action and jihad, at a time of when callers to falsehood and innovation became outspoken, at a time of political and military defeats…Had he surrendered to the belief “I can’t, it’s impossible”, would history have recorded for us that huge heritage of heroism, knowledge and challenging of falsehood?

Had Muhammad bin Abdul-Wahhab – may Allah have mercy on him – when he found the Arabian Peninsula living in the darkness of ignorance, innovation and blind following, had he accepted for himself what other righteous people did, “I can’t, it’s impossible”, do you think the Peninsula would have awaken from its sleep and got rid of its idolatry and innovations?

Our long history is full of such pioneering leaders and revivers, who recorded for us the most admirable examples the Muslim’s ability to overcome the greatest of physical and mental obstacles, neither surrendering to psychological defeat, nor allowing the compound difficulties to numb their senses.

Many would say, “They were great men, and how few such men are!!”

I say that we did not know they were great until after they recorded those shinning pages of history with their admirable victories in different fields. Before that they were just ordinary men. However, for many reasons, they were able to climb the ladder of success that made them heroes and leaders. Foremost of these reasons is the destruction of the illusion “I can’t, it’s impossible”

From missionislam.com 

Source: kalamullah.com